Dear Susy Wong,


That's what your workmates fondly call you! Cute, eh?  When you all discover later on who the famous Susy Wong actually is (A high class hooker!) you have a good laugh together.  Deep down you experience a wave of shame as you realise how similar you and Susy Wong are.  She gives her body in a quest for riches and you give your body in a quest for love.

If I could just stop you now, there will be significantly less regrets, so please listen carefully!

Love is not a fuzzy feeling that makes you swoon and gives you goosebumps.  That just means you've met someone who currently meets all your criteria.  Give them a chance and you'll soon realise they don't meet the 'perfect' tick box on your list. Rom Coms (as much as I love them!) have completely disillusioned us.  True love does not happen 'at first sight' - it appears to happen to some in that way, but that's just fluke.  Love is a choice you make and not just one choice.  Its a continual ongoing choice.  Let me explain... 

When you do meet your future husband, he's not your current 'type' (For the record, your type 'perfect' does not exist).  You don't initially have those fuzzy feelings you call love and in fact when they appear, they don't stick around - they come and go.  Some days your husband will seem perfect and those fuzzy feelings will have you on cloud nine.  On other days he will really piss you off or upset you and you won't feel his love.  Thats when the choice to love kicks in.  If you continue with your quest for love, you will experience the following:

1) you will have some relationship issues to work through with your husband.
2) your future husband will never know all there is to know about you.  There will be secrets about you that you just can't share with your husband - that will make you sad.  You will have to get over the fear of him hearing those secrets from someone else - people can be cruel!  
3)Taking your future husband to parties of friends you have now will be a risky business as you will have to introduce him to several ex's.  That will make you and him extremely uncomfortable.
4) Your sex life will be tarred by experiences with others until you can renew your mind about the whole thing.  That will take time and conscious effort.
5) You will realise later in life how cruel you have been to some men.  You fall so deeply for them at first sight, then reject them so quickly and brutally when you discover they don't meet your outrageous standards.  You probably cause men to feel like they are not good enough for anyone.  You also reveal how shallow your love is - deep love takes the good with the bad.

I know that you genuinely feel like your in love every time you give yourself away in your quest for love (even when you've just met the person!).  I really want to save you and them some heartache.

I now know many people who chose not to have sex before marriage.  Its not as crazy as it sounds.  They don't feel like they missed out on anything and they definitely don't regret it.  It was hard work for them to keep resisting, but they have something special now with their husbands that I will never experience and they will have that for the rest of their lives.  I'm not bitter, just a bit sad!  That sadness has given me the determination to show young women like you that there is a better way and that to be pure is not obscure!

Dear Susan

Stop being a tube girl - just go back and finish school.  I know its boring and you can't wait to earn some money, but believe me your pay packet will be bigger quicker if you study just a wee bit longer and put in a wee bit more effort!!  I know that narrow minded teacher told you that you're nothing but a waster - you're not, its just his teaching method is BORING!  Don't let him put you off or side-track you.  I know your heads full of nonsense too (I shouldn't say nonsense, I know boys/men and looking good are definitely not nonsense to you, but actually the meaning of life!), but you can still put in the effort.  I know you are capable of achieving and having fun at the same time!  

You truly believe that you're a fully grown adult and I respect that you have had your share of adult experiences, however, please, please at least listen to what your Mum and Dad have to say - it really does make sense and they really have been there before!  

When your Mum throws your belongings out in the garden (knickers and all!!) or when she shows her friends the state of your room because its so shockingly disgusting, don't just laugh your head off - ask yourself why? Just stand in your room and reflect for a minute - the plate with mouldy toast under the bed, the mirrored wardrobe that actually looks like modern art created by make-up, hair products and other random stuff, the dirty washing mixed up with the clean washing cos its been lying there so long, the bedbugs because your clean bedding has been sitting on the floor for over a month now waiting to be used.  Maybe if you leave it long enough, the dirty bedding will crawl off - ah so that's the thinking behind it!  Do you really want to invite your friends in there? 

By the way, I know you think its cool to pass porn under the desk to your new college class mates but its really not that cool.  And its even less cool to pin up the nude posters in the toilet of your placement at the lawyers office.  You will sooooo cringe and regret that one day!! There were old ladies working in there!! You love the shock factor - that's why your doing it.  You just want people to like you but you're actually a likeable person without doing all the random shocking things.  You see God created you to be completely unique in the same way that he created everyone else in the world to be unique.  There is only one you, so be the real you and don't try to take on these false personalities to suit the people you are with.  You are who you are and some people will find you boring!  But that's ok, we weren't created to be liked by everyone - we were created to be who we are and make a difference to the world we live in.  So if you're carrying on being someone you're not - who's going to make the difference you were supposed to make??

There are a lot of things I have said and done and a lot of things said and done to me that I wish never happened.  I can't live my life in regret, but I can help others not to make the same mistakes.